My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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