I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
