She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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