did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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