I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
