She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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