How'd it feel making her break her religion?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize