i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
