drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
