if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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