I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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