On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
