Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize