You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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