We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Slut skills are useful in every country.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
