we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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