Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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