i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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