where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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