glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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