ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
