You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
