I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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