So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
should my penis look like a turkey
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
