btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
