All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
