so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
