...so i touched it.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
