I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
