You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
