Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
