man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
