her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
