i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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