i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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