I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
