I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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