We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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