What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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