Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize