Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
