im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
