it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
