May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
We smell like vodka and hangover
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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