found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
