hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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