So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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