we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
