OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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