I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
pray to the hookup gods
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize