You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
