I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
