I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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