I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
