I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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