Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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