We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
