he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
