you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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