i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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