Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
