Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
