Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
