Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
