the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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