Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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