There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
