ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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